5 daily minutes

Suburban station, 8:33 AM. Passengers furthest from the door stand and gather to make their way out. Should remain seated until its their turn. We learned in elementary school to go two seater, three seater, two seater, three seater. They just clog up the aisle and make it more difficult for everyone.

March like cattle to slaughter up a flight of stairs from the platform to the open station lined with shops, benches, and dirty tiled walls. A stark contrast of business attire and thrift store tee shirts. Rich girls have Coach bags, poor girls have plastic shopping bags filled with all they own. Walk past the shoe shine man who sings his "shine your shoes" songs. Pretty witty, not bad. From my vantage point my shoes look plenty shiny so I proceed. Everyone looks in a hurry.

A homeless man had made a nest of newspaper in the vestibule of an abandoned store, had urinated himself and now a janitor mops it up. The hall is filled with the smell of stale piss. The crowd of people is diverted to the left and forced to dodge those going the other way. No one wants to bump into the walls. You can tell just from looking they are contaminated. Even the ceiling looks dirty. Wonder how that could happen.

I use my elbows to open doors and my foot to hold the doors open for those behind me. They, in turn, refuse to touch the handle with their bare skin which causes the door to shut abruptly, again causing a jam up. Crazies in corridors. The same lady sitting next to the newspaper stand constantly laughing. Her legs are spread apart, I wonder about her adductors. You can tell when people are going to approach you for money. The more desperate they are the less they ask for. Funny. I stopped carrying cash so I can honestly say I have nothing on me. Sorry. They are used to being denied, probably been denied their whole life. Seems to bother me more than it bothers them, and I am not hooked on smack. Disparaging.

Make my way back down a level to the subway. I notice the same people I have seen for months now. I know they notice me too but no acknowledgment has ever been given. The ceiling always leaks even when it hasn't rained in days and the sound of other transit cars can be heard above. Shakes the roof as small pieces of plaster fall. A man smokes a cigarette just beneath a no smoking sign with no sign of irony on his face. The smoke hangs in clouds around his head faded blue. The tracks are covered with trash which blows up onto the platform when the train comes. The subway doors open and people try to get off as others try to get on. Another hold up. I go on last and think "and as things fall apart no one pays much attention.