The World's Biggest Bush

I've heard recent rumors of the world's second largest bush being in North Carolina. No one can be sure if this is truly the second biggest bush in the world, seeing as how there are large amounts of forests and woods and rich people planting shrubery. We do know, however, that the world's biggest bush is located in Cinnaminson, New Jersey, across the street from Wood Park's tennis courts.

This particular bush was used by early Swedish settlers to hang their laundry on to dry. If you didn't know, the Swedes have a different way to clean their clothes, which involves soaking the terry cloth like material for hours, then allowing them to drip dry over tress and bushes. It was all the excess drippage that supplied "THE BUSH" with a constant supply of water.

What you may not have know is that before the Swedish immigrants even came to America, THE BUSH was planted by the Lenapee tribe of Native Americans on what was called a "Notackatee". A notackatee is a mound of earth which is built up by shellfish shells. The Lenapee would make trips down to the ocean, gather the crustaceans, and take then back to their tribe where Cinnaminson is now. Once they schucked all the clams and oysters, they would bury the shells for sanitary reason, then plant a bush on top of that to remind them not to dig there. This provided the perfect habitat for THE BUSH, supplying the baby plant with tons of nutrients.

Over centuries THE BUSH grew and grew. It was protected by apple orchards from about 1785 to 1993, at which point the apple tress were removed to build a high end, cookie cutter community known as "Poet's Walk". Generations of Cinnaminson teens would bring couches and kegs and girlfriends and boyfriends to sit under THE BUSH due to the fact that it offered ample protection from parents and cops.

Today, THE BUSH still stands and is now surrounded by a small park to demonstrate the emotion of having "the world's something or other". Though there is no sign within the park telling the world about THE BUSH's accolades, The Gusiness Book of World Records proves that other bushes should bow down to The World's Biggest Bush.