Firsts, and on love

I wish I could remember how I felt during some "firsts". In my head, I sign a song from Blood on the Tracks at least twice per day (I'm not kidding, I really do). For some reason that Dylan album has had such a dramatic influence on my life. Every single time the word "luck" is mentioned, my brain automatically goes "They said I killed a man named Grey and took his wife to Italy. She inherited a million bucks and when she died it came to me. I can't help it if I'm lucky". I wish I knew my first impression of that song (Idiot Wind) or the album, but I don't. I suppose I was not taken back since I don't remember, but it has definitely stuck with me through the years.
I also don't remember any first impressions people make on me. I think I am good at not judging people, and maybe that's why, but I wish I could recall what I thought the first time I met Rachelle. I think the first time I met her was at her house in Seneca Falls, but (sorry Chelle) I don't remember what she looked like or what we talked about or anything else really, just that we were introduced. I suppose it wasn't love at first sight, we did not get together for over a year. I also don't really remember much about her before we started dating, almost like my feelings for her replaced any memories of what I thought about her before that point. I guess that makes sense, I mean, how can the brain fully comprehend the tone a passing train makes once the Doppler effect has happened?
Everyone I know from Cinnaminson doesn't count cause you guys have been in my conscious and unconscious mind for as long as I can remember anything at all, almost like their was no existence without you.

New Scientist magazine featured an article about love, why we love, and the physiology of it all. I am addicted to Rachelle. After starting my business, I became super stressed out to the point I think I may have been depressed. When one is depressed, the chemicals in the brain go out of whack, like I'm sure mine were (and are). Love apparently releases oxytocin (yes, the same as heroine and coke) which has a short term reversal of the screwed up chemicals. It over rides the bad signals and makes you feel just good. Well, our bodies like this feeling and crave it, therefore if Rachelle and love gave me that good feeling, my body seeks it out and needs it. Science is crazy, love is crazier, I am craziest.