Prince

You don't have to be rich to be my girl
You don't have to be cool to rule my word
Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with
I just want your extra time and your
Kiss

MOOOOOOO

Soccer

I am your average American. I grew up playing football, cheered for the Eagles (and Jets for a while), and thought that soccer was just a game that scrawny little kids who could not bear the weight of shoulder pads and a helmet played by default. Being from Cinnaminson, there was always plenty of soccer around, and I think it was pretty big. The thing is I did not dislike the sport, nor did I like...I guess I just never really considered it much. I cannot remember playing soccer in gym class, only month after month of volleyball, and I definitely never played any pickup soccer in the park or any number of back yards we would inhabit. Point being, I don't get it. I don't understand the sport because I know nothing about it.

This year I watched the World Cup, the first soccer game I have ever watched all the way through. I cheered for the Netherlands and Ghana and booed America (I love that a country the size of one of our smaller states and a population of a fraction of ours can beat us...not to mention being in extreme poverty). I watched, I asked questions...I can honestly say I approached it with an open mind...and I thought it was totally lame!

Sure, the exciting shots and goals are really awesome, especially to see someone jump in the air on a corner kick (looking at me using soccer vocab..GO ME) and smash the ball in, but that is all. I timed how long it was between shots and it was like 15 minutes...boring. Why are you kicking the ball backwards, it bores me and you're never going to score that way, unless it is on your own goal.

I did not understand stoppage time. I was like, "why do they get a random amount of time at the end of each half", and "why is the clock still running even though that dude is flopping around in pain on the ground." Then I put the two together and understood. Fine, instead of stopping the clock you just keep track and play longer. The problem with this is players were faking injuries just to get more time. On many occasions it was obvious a player would not even be touched and tumbel to the ground. TOTALLY LAME.

I still don't understand the offside rule. I know it is meant to stop cherry pickers, but it looked like the defense would run up the field just to catch a player offsides. It seems like the game would be a lot more exciting if there were no offsides rule.

Finally, the shoot off. Are they serious? I can appreciate that soccer is a game of skill and stategie, despite the downfalls I spoke of earlier. This being so, it seems really wrong to decide the game in a completely different manner of a point blank shot with no one defending you. So you play your heart out for two hours only to end up in a tie. Well keep playing because that is your sport and that is how it is played. This kid told me you have a 97% chance of making your shot on the extra kick. I don't know if that is true, but it really ruins the games...really.

So that is what I think of soccer...a weak "ehhh", take it or leave it. I cannot get excited for a 0-0 tie like I think Mexico did, and because a game can end 0-0 sometimes, then be decided by extra kicks in the end, it seems soccer is a flawed sport, and possibly fatally flawed for me.

O H I O

This is my post about Ohio, the state that blew the election, the state that isn't quite Midwestern and definitely not Eastern, the state where I spent all of last weekend. Rachelle and I drove across endless Pennsylvania on Thursday night so that we could have plenty of time to get ready for a wedding on Friday. I don't know why they had their special day on a Friday, but it was a blast. The ceremony was held outside just beside a pristine lake, a string quartet played my favorite Bach song, Jesu, Joy of Man's Desire, and the weather was perfect. About 20 yards past the gazebo, two people were in a boat fishing. We all thought, "for sure they will move when the wedding starts", but no, they stayed right where they were. Just as the bride began her ascent up the aisle, those two morons caught a pretty big fish and start waving their lines in the air trying to get the fish off the hook. It was one of those moments that makes you wonder how some people haven't killed themselves with indoor ovens or metal in microwaves or little plastic lighters.

The reception was right next to the lake also, and was indeed a great time. I drank around a dozen Baccardi and Cokes, Rachelle was beautiful, and I danced the drunk fool's dance. When the party was over we went out in Kent, Ohio...kind of a crap hole to be honest.

The rest of the weekend was just as good, ate some tasty steaks and drank some tasty beers. Ohio, you truly out did yourself this time, nicely done.