I'm on to you Adam Sandler

I saw a preview for the new Adam Sandler movie "Click" the other day, and it seemed somewhat familiar, stupid, but familiar. From what I gathered from the preview, somehow Sandler's character has a remote control that can speed up or slow down time. I swore I have seen a movie just like this but I could not place it...where have I seen this before?

Oh, thats right, it was a DuckTales episode. I remember...Gyro made a watch that could speed up and slow down time, much to the liking of Uncle Scrooge and his three nephews (Hewey, Dewey, and Lewey?) I think the Beagle Boys steal the watch and wackiness follows, but I'm sure the problem was resolved in the end. The episode was called "Time Teasers", and like all DuckTales episodes, was awsome. (by the way, the DuckTales video game was also great, and is the first game I remember having difficulty settings)

So Adam Sandler, now your stealing ideas from Disney, you unorigional fraud. But then I thought something else seemed a little out of place. I am sure the idea of time warping has been around for all of human imagination, but I thought I had seen this concept somewhere else too.

Oh, thats right, "Out of Control" with Dave Coulier. He had some sort of lever that could speed up time, and kids would write in and ask him to speed up their chores. Dave would pull the lever and we would see some kid getting his hair cut or cleaning his room in super fast speed with super fast music. Man, that was histerical! I wish I had a time faster upper lever.


I think I am going to make a movie, and instead of a remote control, watch, or lever, I am going to have a special magical carthat can speed up and slow down using the accelarator and brake, and I can fly through time or make everything around me go really slow. I'll call the movie "Hey Adam Sandler, YOU SUCK and I have a time car".



Man, I watched a lot of television as a kid.

Do the Evolution

Is there nothing Alec Baldwin doesn't know? He was the host of The Discovery Channels "Walking with the Cavemen" show that I watched last night. If you ever get a change, watch it, it is high quality education. It starts with apes and goes to humans, telling us how different branches of human-like beings evolved and eventually died off leaving only us. The big difference...the ability to think, and according to the show it was our species' ability to make art and develop communities that allowed our brains to grow to where we are now.

An interesting fact from the show... the species Homo ergaster was the first to take a stone and chip parts of it away to form a stone axe to use as a weapon. Over a million years this tool did not change, this species' technology did not progress, and eventually they died off. In less than 100 years we went from the first airplane to the first spaceship, in less than ten years we progressed from libraries to the internet. Our adaptability is apparently limitless*.

The thing that made Homo sapien special was its ability to reason and think about consequences. They would put water in ostrich eggs, fill the tiny whole with straw, and bury the egg in dirt with the straw showing so that it could be found later. They knew the pain thirst could bring, and they planned for it.


*On a side note, I read an interesting article in NewScientist last month on how human imagination may not really be limitless. The author (I forget his name) made a point that a cat will never know astrophysics no matter how hard you try to teach it. A cat's brain is just not that developed. Our brains are developed, but that doesn't mean it is limitless. There may be things that no one has ever even imagined, things that are real but beyond humans' capacity to understand, and the crazy thing is we will never know if this is true.

Rainy Day

XPN is doing their fund drive = a lot less music to listen to.
Its raining outside = Can't go for my daily walk with my dog.
Only two patients this morning = a long boring day.
Insurance companies are the worst = can't get paid.
All of the above = miserability

Yes, miserability... the ability to be miserable on losey days, but not depressed for any reason. We all possess it, some more than others. I am usually not miseralbe, but its hard not to be on a day like today.

I wonder what is going on in Hawaii right now. There are probably people surfing, sun bathing, fishing, snorkeling, napping. I bet its fun. I bet there is a lot less miserability out there, maybe not. People seem to invent new ways to be miserable when things are going good.

Going to Mason Jennings Friday night...that will decrease the miserability factor.

Maybe I'll take Marge Simpson's advice and just smile. No matter what you just smile to fool people. Good advice Mrs. Simpson.

6 6 06 Sign of the Beast

Check this shit out: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0606/666.html

If you don't go, here are some of the things this church recommends:

If the 06-06-06 date can not be avoided, make sure that the child is kept in a chicken cage on the hospital floor, and that there are at least two full grown hogs within four feet of the cage at all times. As a Bible believing Christian, you know that demons and pigs act like the two sides of Velcro when they are around each other (Mark 5:12-13), so keeping them by your newborn's side acts as a Godly safety net. If one of the hogs starts grinning and snorting, prancing about, or just plain acting full of the Devil's business by emptying its bowels all over the hospital floor, get it out to a lake and drown it as soon as humanly possible. And you don't have to be a Christ-killing Jew to know this: Goodness gracious, don't eat the bacon!

Make sure you check under your child's testicles for any peculiar markings. For it is not upon the head (as the hell bound Catholics incorrectly believe and, by all other indications, should be the last ones to be wrong in this regard), but rather hidden in the rough skin on the nape under a newborn's tiny tallywhacker, or slightly inside the anal cavity that one should be looking for any signs of the Evil One. Creation Scientists have observed that the so-called "taint" (the disagreeable area between the genitals and the anus) is where demons are most likely to post messages for each other.

Place your child in the care of our Creation Scientists for a period of 10-days. During this period, they will perform a Bible Crawl and conduct Creation Science Experiments on your newborn to determine if it needs to be shipped off the Landover Baptist Home for the Demonically Possessed in North Dakota. The shipping charges and five years of care costs will be billed monthly to the same credit card account you use when you drop your child off with us.


Is this for real, I can't decide. It seems so over the top that it must be fake, but if you go to the website and search around, they seem pretty serious. Let me know what you think.

God save us.

Travels with Charley

I just finished the Steinbeck book "Travels with Charley" and found it to be a very enjoyable, easy read. Steinbeck had won fame and some fortune after receiving the Nobel Prize in literature, but like many men of distinction found it hard to settle. While not enjoying his retirement, Steinbeck decided to set out across America to rediscover the country which had supplied him with the backbone of his writings. I suppose that, even after years of studying Americans, he did not understand all he had composed and questioned what makes one citizen the same or different than the next. He has a special "house" built on the back of a truck, and with the help of his poodle Charley, embarks on his quest.
Steinbeck is as insightful and articulate in this non-fictitious book as he is in his more famous works, such as The Grapes of Wrath and Of Mice and Men. He is a great "describer of things" including trees, states, and people, and is always questioning and willing to look at both sides. His journey takes him out to California where he encounters some of the same characters from his other book Cannery Row, and gives a great soliloquy about how "you can never go home again". He makes his way down into Texas, which is "both a state and a state of mind" and over to New Orleans to witness segregation in action.
Through it all, Steinbeck draws few conclusions and seems to have gathered more questions about America than he can bother to deal with. Eventually he makes his way up through New Jersey and back to Long Island where the book comes to a sudden halt. The book is thought provoking, funny, and easy (compared with Grapes) and would be highly recommended by The Garden.